Unlearning the standards, reclaiming our beauty
Carnelia was created as a space to celebrate women and their unique expressions of femininity.
We wanted to create a safe space, where you can explore things like cute lingerie, without someone pointing out if your body fits into some specific standard or not.
Sometimes wearing a matching set gives us emotional comfort, not only physical comfort. How we look is closely tied to how we feel, and at Carnelia we think that no woman should choose between comfort or confidence. The amount of comfort you can get shouldn’t be determined by the shape of your body.
Our bodies are designed to keep us alive and healthy, not to fit into standards. Then why are we so fixated on their shape?
As Rupi Kaur says, the female body is too often reduced to aesthetics, completely undermining the actual work it does for us. We must never forget that the primary function of our bodies is to keep us alive and thinking.
It kind of makes sense, on a certain level, the centrality of the body in a woman’s life. As we grow up, it goes through so many visible and invisible changes: puberty changes its shape, it can grow a life; even on a monthly basis, it experiences so many different phases.
Our bodies are fast and ever-changing elements of this universe, so it’s no surprise how constantly aware of it we are. But does it need to be a constant topic? And why should we be defined by its shape?
In her book The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf wrote:
“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
The constant work and worry of reaching a beauty ideal puts women in a constant state of hunger —hunger for food and for an ideal that someone else has decided we should try to reach.
Diet culture and perfectionist culture masquerade as self-improvement, self-care, glow-ups and personal growth. We’re being told that we should always strive to be the very best version of ourselves. While self-improvement is valuable in many areas, it shouldn’t mean, however, that our natural bodies aren’t enough.
We are much more than enough, and we can be creative, powerful, fearless, ambitious, inspiring and unstoppable regardless of the shape of our bodies.
If we must strive to change or improve something, let that be the oppressive system we all suffer under.
Fashion and lingerie should be used to spread positive messages and to allow self-expression, not for imposing rules and standards that make us feel unworthy.
Let's choose to be empowered by what we wear.
Carnelia is a community, and we’re always eager to hear from you. Let us know your thoughts!